Jealousy

Look around you, what do you see?A society in chaos ethnic tribal and religious vengeance with savagery that appals you and watered down moral values that revolts you. A harvest of parental neglect and illegal drugs and streets full of violence. How did it all began? It all began when a powerful spirit creature got jealous of of his creator because of the worship he was getting. Something he was not entitled to but wanted for himself. Fast forward a bit A king got jealous of one of his military commanders

because he thought the young man was being being praised for something but he felt only he must be praised like that. Again fast forward to our day: 6000 000 jews lost their lives because a man got jealous of their prosperity and 24 000 000 soviet citizens lost their lives because a man again got jealous of their oil resources. Yes jealousy is a costly vice.

No wonder God finds it a hateful device and decreed that jealous persons cannot enter into the kingdom of the heavens. In his word he calls jealousy rottenness to the bones. In other words Jehovah defines jealousy as bone cancer.

Even the the apostle Paul found it necessary to speak out strongly against jealousy when he realized that jealousy was becoming a destructive element in the Christian congregation

But is it all bad? Not necessarily jealousy is like fire it can be used to cook a meal but when out of control will burn the house down

This kind of jealousy is refreshing it is called godly jealousy. The apostle Paul himself was fired by this jealousy It is the kind of jealousy that galvanizes us to protect our reputation and our health and that of our our families but more importantly it causes us to tolerate no rivalry when it comes to our God Jehovah. It is the quality that makes us speak up when his name is being sullied.

Teenagers

The home has always been a quiet and peaceful place. Suddenly it has been invaded by some roman gladiators who are constantly declaring war on each other and on mommy and daddy!

The questions and the sighs are deafening; what has happened to the nice and quiet child who used to lap up every thing mommy and said as gospel and applaud everything they did as potentate. Not so any more. They question everything that is done and said. And when they do not get their way they slam their bedroom door behind them in a fit of temper as if daring any one to follow.

The challenges with teenagers is that that are in a state of confusion as they change from childhood to adulthood. A process that catapillers carry out with consummate ease. It might be easy for catapillers but not so easy for our young children.

This process should not be entirely surprising for us parents seeing it is something that we ourselves faced. Nevertheless the process never fails to surprise us. It is something that can be dealt with successfully if we are mentally prepared. The teenage years could be likened to an earthquake. Only a solid foundation could withstand such tremors.

That foundation must be put in place from infancy. For that foundation to be really solid a strong bond between parents and children must be built. That bond must be built on love and communication. Great pains must be taken to insert in the child’s heart proper moral values. It is quite unfortunate that live in an age where children are taught that if it feels good do it.

If you plan to live by yourself the rest of your life by yourself that’s fine but if you plan to live with someone else rules need to be put in place for one to have a successful relationship. It is not possible to have a successful relationship with anyone without rules. For adults to live comfortably with rules they need to learn that from infancy. They need to learn very early that if they will live on a hill by themselves rules are not necessary but if they intend to live as part of a group of two persons or more rules are needed. That appreciation for rule have to be developed early in life.

The first thing that children launch an attack on when they become teenagers is the regime of rules that confront them. They were so quiet and condescending accepting everything. Daddy used to be the superhero that nobody could beat and mommy was the reality star no lady could match. Not anymore. Daddy is now Humpty Dumpty who has fallen off the wall and mommy cannot now compete with all the little prince and princesses parading the neighborhood.

How can parents win in this battle for the minds of their children? As was noted before the foundation must be laid from childhood. An intense raport must be maintained between parents and children right up to puberty. There is no substitute for this. The mistake parents make is that they spend a lot of time working and providing material things for their children and neglecting other needs like their emotional needs and very important their spiritual needs. To be sure children will not be grateful. They will not forgive. you for your negligence. Attempting to polish up your blunder by calling it quality time will not do.

Respect

Respect is to a man what love is to a woman It is so unfortunate that men fail to realize the importance of expressing affection to his wife and daughters. On the other hand women fail to understand the importance of showing deep respect to her husband.

Relationships must be built on a specific ordinance; love for each other, mutual respect for each other and a passion to make their relationship succeed. Unfortunately though respect can be like a hummingbird forever hovering around but flies away at the first sign of trouble. If a relationship is to succeed that bird must be caught and kept close to your bosom at all times. No relationship can succeed without respect. If affection fails respect can maintain a semblance of normalcy.

Rule one! Never marry s person you cannot respect. Now how do you know if you can respect someone or not. First look at how they deport themselves in public. Things that are overlooked in private will cause a fracas when done in public.

Intellectual depth should also be taken into consideration. It is difficult to converse with someone who did not see school as important. Vocabulary differential could be a serious blow to a relationship. Imagine yourself very Shakespearean in your expressions but your partner could only respond with obscenities.

It is impossible to find two people who is evenly matched in all areas but it is necessary to minimize the differentials. Also it’s important to manage the consequences of any differentials. What I mean is this, differences and their consequences are unavoidable. What is needed is concerted effort on both sides to minimize those consequences thus limiting personal and collateral damages.

An example of what I am talking about would be this; imagine a man who loves indoor activities and his wife is an out door person. While nothing is wrong with that. The problem can arise if she want to go out but he prefers to stay at home and read a book. It will be wrong for her to get bitchy and abuse him verbally about his preference. I will be much better for her to respect his feeling and rather than bullying him into going out with her, it will be better to come to a negotiated settlement.

Another example of what I am talking about is when there is a desire to have an evening out together. The husband is quite contented with just an ice cream treat. The wife on the other hand is looking forward to an evening out at a top gourmet restaurant because that is what she is accustomed to. Even here a mild discussion should sort things out amiably.

This is why respect is so important. Inevitably there will be disagreements and these disagreements will have to be resolved amicably. There must be no room for abuse an disrespect. I am sure that if both individuals resolve in their hearts to overcome these challenges in a civil way a wonderful relationship can be achieved.

Strategic thinking

The debate has been raging for centuries; men or women who is better strategic thinkers? My friends think I am crazy to to try to settle the issues. Really I am not trying to settle the issue nor am I attempting to throw my hat into the ring. I am simply proffering my opinion.

Now the question again: are men better strategic thinkers than women? The surprising answer is that there is no straight forward answer to this question. The fact that there is no straight forward answer to this question is the main reason why this issue remains unsettled to this day.

Before we can answer that question successfully we must understand the difference in personalities of both man and woman. To begin with men are not the realistic beings they are made out to be. Please do not get me wrong I am not questioning their capacity for realism. As a matter of fact men are fundamentally realistic beings. The problem with men is that they allow themselves to be carried away with idealism. Forever dreaming of a idyllic world and working towards achieving it. In their quest to achieve this utopian conditions they often underestimate the challenges facing them. Women on the other hand is also dreaming of a better world but they tend to be more realistic in analyzing the challenges they will face as they attempt to fulfill their desires.

Also women being the gregarious people they are they tend to discuss their ideas with others and with others giving their input they tend to remain more realistic. Men on the other hand tend to be solitary and live in their own world and would only discuss their plans with like minded individuals if any at all.

History is replete with examples of men setting out to build empires but failing in the attempt. The landscape of history is also awash with unfinished castle that men set out to build but failed.

Men also tend to be too grandiose in their programs. Women on the other hand tend to be more modest. Men also generally overestimate their abilities. Women generally underestimate themselves. Also men get carried away with overconfidence while women are always doubting their chances of success.

Now that we have cleared up a few things about man and woman let’s get back to the question: who is better strategic thinkers men or women? The more appropriate question is: who use it more efficiently? To think strategically means to think or plan with the end in mind. In other words all decisions considered and executed must bear absolutely towards the chosen goal. It cannot be considered strategic planning or strategic thinking if your goal is to get to New York but you are on a plane heading to Paris. That will be laughable!

Men are indeed great strategic thinkers. Their success over the centuries established that to be an unassailable fact. Men strategic thinking has a downside they are easily distracted. Likely this the one critical difference between man an women. Women are not easily distracted. While it is true men have made astronomical progress over the centuries it not necessarily because of their immense capacity for strategic planning. Many times their success was because one man made an incredible breakthrough followed by an avalanche of successes made by other men in similar breakthroughs. In other words one man got a eureka moment and the others fell in line. May I make clear it is not that the other men were not thinking strategically it maybe that they were off course or were not focused enough.

Women on the other hand do indeed think strategically but their fight tend to be in a different arena. Women with a few notable exceptions are generally not interested in building empires or making scientific breakthroughs. Whatever their chosen field of endeavor they tend to be very focused and definitely not easily distracted.

The one thing that easily distract men is their intense desire for romantic fulfillment. Something that does not easily distract women. This is the main reason why as women get older they appear to be less interested in sex and may find it a little more difficult to get an orgasm. It is not that they are less interested in romance rather it because whatever is the other endeavors taking place in their lives they tend to be so focused or strategically thinking on it or planning for it that romance tend to take a back seat.

Men on the other hand remain very much interested in their romantic life regardless of what is happening around them or in their own lives. That is the main reason why ever so often you can hear of some lady getting pregnant for him even though he seemed so successful and focused in his career. To be fair regardless of how old he is once he is successful there will always be a lady sinisterly waiting in his shadows.

Games

One thing that couple love to do is to play games. Be it physical games psychological games emotional games or even spiritual games. The power of games to nurture relationships are by and large underrated. Not only do games enlarge relationships but they could also enhance skills that you could find useful in every day living.

To begin with games need not be complicated. It need not be chess snake and ladder would do. It is not about competing it about fun and games. It is not about being stronger or or being brighter it is about being loving and kind. It is not about building a macho image it is about building goodwill and love.

The games could be physical or mental. They should be also very simple like snake and ladder or any other game like it. All in the household can have a share. It’s wonderful to see daddy playing a game with a toddler. Of course the toddler will be breaking all the rules but that is not the important thing. What is important is the connection being built between father and child. There is another bonus to it too. As the child grows older the child will treasure those moments of bonding he or she had with daddy.

The mistake young men make is that they do not spend enough time with their young children and those who do competes with the mothers. It is a mistake to only want to be around your infants when the are behaving but as soon as they begin to misbehave you hand them over to mommy. Two persons brought them into the world and it needs at least two persons to stare them to adulthood.

On their way to adulthood playing games with them is a surefire way bond with your children. It is also a good way to nurture a wonderful relationship with your wife.

Keep in mind though that physical sports could be risky and prone to injuries so if a an outdoor game like football or cricket is chosen keep it light. Keep in mind that winning is not the sole purpose of playing. Comedy is quite in order; Daddy is running with his four year old son, he could pretend to lose and even even complaining that the little boy is running too fast for him. All being done in the name of fun.